Life Can Be Good - Can't it?

Been feeling off these days.  I've made the mistake of looking backwards and then looking forwards.  Neither can do me any good.  My guru (yes I really have one) says I can only look at the moment I am in.  Why do I have such a hard time doing that?
 I have a very good life. I'm married to my best friend, have a darling dog, live in a great house, have wonderful children and beautiful grandchildren.  In comparison to even those in this country who have been without jobs (I really don't like mine but hey it's mine) and are losing their homes, I'm on easy street.
So why do I want to just sell everything and unload all this accumulated stuff?  It's like this giant burden.  Martha Beck and Geneen Roth both say to shed ourselves of stuff and stop buying what we don't need - it all just adds to our worries and really doesn't address the truth about ourselves.  We hide under the piles of stuff.  The good feelings we get when we buy something lasts only a short time and then poof it's gone only to be replace by remorse and regret.  It really doesn't give us the real thing we need - love and lack of fear.
Swami Nirmalananda says that most of us live a life of fear.
But she also says something else that I find the most comforting. "Nirahankaaram means free of egoism.  You don't have to prove yourself or even try to improve yourself.  You are already the 'new and improved version' of yourself.  You are the Self, consciousness-itself."  I need to remember that in a world that is always trying to make us believe we have to improve ourselves, planting the voice in our heads that we aren't worthy or good enough just the way we are.

New Media

So I Facebook, I Twitter and now I'm doing Google +.  But I'm beginning to wonder does it all mean anything.  I've kept up with former co-workers and family but I've gotten annoyed by the pushing of crap by companies.  I'm de-friending them. (That's become a new word.)  I also found myself wasting time playing games on line.  I've downsized that too.  One game and I don't have to plant anything or buy anything or building a little city.  The latest one was where I was having fights with people.  Really?
Now, while I find it fun to peek in on what those former co-workers are up to, I would really rather just have coffee or lunch with them.  Maybe even just a phone call.
It's great to see my grandchildren grow up via pictures posted on line, but I would much rather spend time with them - reading books, playing with dolls or just holding them and seeing their first smiles.
I just signed up for Google +.  Not sure how that will work out - there really aren't that many people using it.  But I do admire Google trying it with some very unique features.  I guess that's good - simultaneous communications with friends in different circles trying to figure out what movie to see or where to have dinner. Have to admit, though, my kids don't see the point and don't use it and my friends would rather just email me or call.  I like the calling.
This all gets back to what my profession is - producing live events.  I love the feeling I get when the lights go down and you start to see a whole new world unfold.  When you are surprised and moved by an experience on stage.  On the not really live side, I love working in video.  At least I'm creating something and working with people in person.
I miss that.  Working from home alone and having only the computer to reach out to people is lonely.  If you are someone capable of doing that, you are a much better person than me.